Truly, words cannot describe the joy and happiness that have been felt these past couple weeks.. I was sitting and reflecting on the Christmas season and all that it represents. This Christmas season is supposed to be one of the absolute best because of the mission and all the miracles that occur.. In the moment, and leading up to the Christmas day, it did not feel like too many miracles were happening this year.. Last year there were some amazing things that my trainer and I were able to partake in. This year, not as many heartwarming stories that blow your mind occurred..
Now, before I get to the reality of what's been happening in this area, the miracle that I am most grateful for has been the transformation that has happened within my heart and soul.. For those of you who really pay attention to these emails and who I am as a person, it is easy to see that my driving motivation in life is to change.. To leave my old life behind and become a new person. I've never really known what that would encompass, but all I knew was that I've seen things in my life that I never want to see again.. It was a fire lit underneath me that has driven me to do so many things within the past 5 years..
Up until Christmas day, I was struggling with all kinds of inner battles of figuring out what I'm doing, who I am, where I stand and where I am going... There were times leading up to Christmas that it felt as if I could only see an inch in front of me. Just taking it a day at a time, and just hoping that the Lord is guiding me.. It is a hard thing to go through considering the work I have undertaken and the calling that exists with me.. I can never really describe the feeling unless you have gone through it..
Little did I know, that our Heavenly Father would lead me to something that would turn my life upside down. Just a couple days before talking to my family on Christmas, I was feeling a little sick and was laying down to sleep it off. I woke up, jumped in the shower, and had one of the most sobering thoughts come into my mind. It was the thought that had more feeling than words with it, "what's it going to look like when you get to this destination of 'change' that you are looking for?" "And when you do get there, what's next?"
This thought really hit me to the core and in all reality, turned my world upside down. It turned my world upside down because I realized I haven't been aligning my life with what He wanted as much as I could. I realized that everything that has been driving me, is not going to last very long.. It really shook me up because in all honestly I have been selfish with my desire to change.. My priority with it was to change myself and then change the world around me.. I had good intentions, but my priorities were not where they should be..
This change of heart and mindset has brought with it a very sobering and humbling truth that I don't know how to have the fire of looking to change others lives as much as I have had to change my own.
Luckily, the Lord provides a way for me to embrace this new life and mindset He has for me.. It is this mindset that is ultimately going to lead me to the best kind of change because it is a principle that our Savior illuminated and magnified with His life. The principle of looking outward..
Christmas this year is the one I will cherish most, because it is the year that I realized He is leading me to far greater heights than I could imagine.. Truly it is a miracle to change a wretch such as I. The greatest part about it all, was being able to talk to my big brother and the Spirit that was felt there.. To spare the details, because he might not appreciate it, that call on the phone kicked off the blind that was preventing me from seeing where the Lord is taking me..
Because he hasn't emailed me, I will continue.. That call truly meant the entire world to me because I love my brother with my entire heart.. I have looked to him my entire life for the guidance and support that I have needed. It has always been a fear to say anything to him because I am his younger brother, but this call was full of love and I know he and I both came away better than when we could have imagined... He doesn't know this, but that call brought greater peace and clarity than I could have found on my own. The Lord used him as an instrument to once again lead his little brother along the path of life to find something greater.
I apologize this is getting so long. This is what happens when the internet goes down in Tuba City and you're too busy to get to emailing for the rest of the week, but I figure, if you have read this far, that you're actually interested to hear more... Otherwise, your trash bin sure looks nice :D
Now, that my eyes are opened and I feel a great feeling carrying me forward, I see. I see that the areas of responsibility that I have been given, are taking off beautifully- my companion whom I've been assigned to train, the zone I've been called to serve, and the Tuba City 2nd ward that I have come to love and adore!
My companion is continually learning more and more each day and has been teaching me more than I could probably teach him.. The zone is at an all time high of unity, obedience, and brotherly love. We are all coming together in true lasting principles that are going to be the means of creating friendships that will last a life time.. The Tuba City 2nd ward has 8 individuals who are well on their way to entering the waters of baptism and confirmation.. It is going to be a battle to make sure they get there, but that is a number on the smaller end of what's actually going to happen. There are at least five families that are well connected within the ward that are also progressing towards lasting conversion and discipleship. These families all have individuals who are of age to make a covenant with the Lord. The number 8 is so much more than that, there are names, faces, experiences, testimonies, and so much more behind that.. Things are taking off here in this area and I can feel our Heavenly Father's love so bountifully here right now..
Truly my eyes have been opened.. I hope to continue to see growth in the people we are working with here because I love them so much... Pray with me that the roadblocks will be removed so they move forward with ease..
The church is true, the Book of Mormon is the word of God, the priesthood has been restored, and I have been called of Him to declare His truth...
Love you all!!! Make a decision to make changes this year and every day in it.. Don't just need a new year for resolutions. Everyday is a new opportunity!!
Elder Brayden James Sandberg
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